OCEAN COUNTY – Out of tragedy, some good can come and that is what drew people to the 6th Annual Purpose and Hope 5 Kilometer Run at the Island Heights municipal complex on the rainy morning of International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day.
The event was coordinated by the founders of Purpose and Hope – Kevin M. Schmiegel, his sister Kirsten Schenk and her husband David who is a captain in the Ocean County Sheriff’s Department.
Schmiegel, a retired lieutenant colonel in the United States Marine Corps, spoke candidly to Jersey Shore Online.com and later to the public about his own mental health struggles.
He explained how the non-profit support organization formed. “This is six years in the making. The race was started in memory of my nephew Christian Schenk who essentially finished his training as a police officer during COVID and he took his own life on Easter Sunday. We are a big Catholic family and it was devastating for us.”
“My sister Kirsten wasn’t able to get out of bed. I was a non-profit leader. I ran major military and veteran non-profits to support our community and I called her up and said she should start a non-profit to help surviving families,” he added.
The race was held on International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, which is recognized globally. He said the goal of this event is to educate others that this is an issue that every community faces.
He posed the question, “how do you get young people to recognize that we all struggle and that struggle is part of growth? If you can get people to support the families who lost loved ones to suicide, the community comes together, there is no stigma on the family and they support one another.”
He noted that those in the military, veterans, and first responders are especially vulnerable to severe depression that may lead to suicide because of the huge responsibilities and stress they face.
“Over time, we can come together as a community. We can help solve the issue by being more transparent and open about the issue. I struggle myself, post transition, how do you find purpose in your life or connect to community or the things you need to get through those struggles?” he asked.
“That is what it is all about. Part of the problem is people don’t want to talk about it. I am talking more publicly about my own struggles,” he added. “The saying is ‘It is okay to not be okay’ and you have to recognize that. You have to talk about things and you have to share your story.”
Schmiegel noted that in today’s society, social media masks the true struggles people face. The truth is that everyone struggles.
People who race in the event pay a registration fee and the proceeds go to “causes that support mental health, the PBA, other non-profits that support families.”
David and Larissa Colangelo are former Jackson residents who now live in Cookstown and came out for the event to remember David’s brother Mark. “He worked with me at the Ocean County Jail. He died December 11, 2013. He took his life. There were no signs. I was a sergeant at the Ocean County Jail. He was an officer. We worked together for many years. It came out of nowhere.”
“There is a lot of pressure and a lot of ups and downs with that job. I am sure that was part of it. We come here every year to show our support,” David Colangelo said.
Larissa Colangelo said two years ago the run served as tribute to her husband’s brother. “It was held on the 10th anniversary of his passing. If it wasn’t for Purpose and Hope we wouldn’t have the awareness. I feel more people are talking about it now. We never talked about it years ago and we didn’t tell anybody about it but now I think awareness is growing. More people I know have people suffering in their families.”
“Purpose and Hope really brought my family together in understanding suicide,” David Colangelo added.
The Ocean County Sheriff’s Department, Prosecutor’s Office and cadets training currently at the Police Academy came out for the event. Prosecutor Bradley Billhimer and Sheriff Michael Mastronardy also attended to show their support. There was also representation from county government.
“The Ocean County Commissioners are very much aware and this is on the radar that we need to provide awareness,” said Ocean County Commissioner Frank Sadeghi. He told two stories of recent suicides that he knew about.
“We need to find out what causes this. Is it the bond between the family members that is broken or is it a societal thing? We need to do more – there is no question about it. Is it the pressures on younger people? Social media? Young people today don’t talk to each other anymore, they are sitting at the dinner table and texting each other instead of actually conversing. We need to find out what the answer is,” he said.
Remembering Tom Winters
Every year, the run names someone who has been lost and this year they focused on Tom Winters of Jackson.
Peter Winters said his brother Tom worked for 13 years as a lifeguard in Lavallette and Island Beach State Park and loved the ocean. He said his brother played soccer “on a team that won a lot of championships with Rob Johnson. He lived in Jackson from ’78 to 2005 or so. He went to college and served as a lifeguard and moved to California and lived in Florida until the end of his life. He loved fishing in Jackson. He loved the beach and the woods.”
“Tom Winters lived a life marked with a love of family, friendship and community. He was a son, a brother and a proud uncle. At 52 Tom lost his life to suicide. He is remembered for the challenges he faced, the smile he shared and the joyful laughter he brought to family and friends,” Schmiegel remarked.
Schmiegel said around 300 runners came out including the latest class of police cadets from the Ocean County Police Academy. “There is a story behind every Tom and every Christian and every family left behind and that is what you have to remember. Their memories do live on and they live on in part because you are here.”
