Leave Well Enough Alone

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Dear Joel,

I have been married to a wonderful man for nearly 13 years. We are both in our mid 30s. Our beautiful children are now 12, 9 and 4. I will say that in these times I would consider us to be a healthy family. Here is my problem. My husband enjoys doing feminine things as hobbies. He likes to do needlepoint, knit and takes over the kitchen with cooking and baking. It is very embarrassing when he starts to speak to friends or in social circles about his hobbies. The children too are embarrassed when friends come over and see his odd behavior. I don’t know how to tell him to stop.


Clearly, this isn’t the first time I have heard similar stories. I have always wondered why when walking into a bakery, the baker is almost always a male. Although there are seamstresses, most tailors are men as well. Why is it that when men have these occupations it seems perfectly fine, but always odd at home? There are no rules saying that a man can’t cook, bake or sew at home. I would count my blessings in this case. You say that you have a wonderful husband and three beautiful kids. Additionally, you can actually help the situation by taking up the same hobbies as his. I promise you it will make a good marriage even better. As long as he isn’t leaving all the cleaning to you, leave well enough alone.

Joel Markel

Write to joel@preferredcares.com. His radio show, “Preferred Company” airs Monday through Friday from 8 to 10 a.m. on preferredradio.com and 1160 & 1310 WOBM-AM.

If you or anyone else is in need of home health care, call Preferred at 732-840-5566. “Home health care with feeling.

Joel Markel is President of Preferred Home Health Care and Nursing Services Inc. serving all of New Jersey in adult, senior and pediatric home health care.”